Category: Canada

Report: Government Study Finds “Lake With a Hill On It” Safe For Use, After Social Media Scare

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Lake-Hill-FNT-SmallOTTAWA – Social media platforms sent out a wave of geotagged #allclears and #oktogothere after the federal government released the report of a study giving Hill Lake in Algonquin Park a clean bill of health. The study, which cost $11 million, was carried out by a team of researchers after Twitter and Facebook users had spread widespread alarm a year and a half ago about a possible safety hazard.

The lake had immediately trended as #dangerous, #unsafe and #dontgothere after it was reported to have a hill on it, by a concerned parent. The researchers found however, after an extensive survey, that it had only been an optical illusion.

“We’re happy to report that there is absolutely no danger to the public,” said Tony Camparo, a spokesperson from Health and Safety Canada. “And it was wise to be on the safe side, because if there had been a hill there, someone might have fallen and broken a leg, or something.”

Comparo noted that in spite of the concerns raised through social media, and the government’s quick response to quell the panic and put people’s minds at ease, not everyone had been happy about the report.

It was a big disappointment to the extreme sport crowd who had immediately rushed out and bought downhill water skis. Also, he said the treasury board had been a bit miffed about the overall cost of the study.

“So if we can ever trace who spread the rumour in the first place, they will get such a bill in the mail.” Source: FNT Staff

Photo credit: Original images at: Kamloops Trails , Safety Supply Warehouse , EconyX Media , Web Marketing Pros

Montreal To Move City Underground Into Newly Discovered Ice Age Caves, to Save Energy

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Montreal-Ice-Cave-FNT-Small.pngMONTREAL– Following the discovery of a massive ice-age cavern beneath the city of Montreal, the city’s planners immediately saw the huge underground cave as a green energy opportunity. Montreal now is looking at moving the entire metropolitan area into the cavern, beginning on Saturday.

A member of the city’s planning committee, Marcel Archembault, sees the giant cavern that opens up deep underground Montreal’s Saint-Leonard Parc Pie-XII not far from Highway 40 as: ”…the most amazing money-saving opportunity for our city in this century.”

“It will stay warm in the winter and cool in the summer,” he said. “So no more huge utility bills for oil or natural gas.”

The massive cave that was just discovered by explorers was formed 15,000 years ago, experts say, as a result of pressure by the glaciers during the Ice Age.

“There’s plenty of water there too,” he said. “So there will be no need to build a separate reservoir for drinking water and taking showers.” The cave actually taps into the aquifer and explorers that discovered it used an inflatable canoe to get around, so now many Montrealers will be able to enjoy recreational boating, right from their front porches.

In spite of the rosy prognostications for Montreal’s exciting new green-energy initiative however, the city planners do see at least one cloud on the horizon after they make the move to take the city underground.

“Unfortunately, there is no glacial ice from 15,000 years ago remaining near there at all today,” said Archembault. “So after we set up everything again and have the city running smoothly down in the cavern, people will still need refrigerators to make ice cubes to chill their martinis and blend their smoothies.” Source: FNT Staff  

Photo credit: Original images at: CBC News / Société québécoise de spéléologie , Radio Canada International