Report: Benign Anarchies With Sock Puppet Leaders Rated Most Stable Societies by all Main Agencies

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Banksy Anarchy-FNT-small.pngNEW YORK – The three main statistical ratings agencies, Standard & Poor’s, Moody’s and Fitch, have come out as unanimous that countries that function as benign anarchies with sock puppet leaders have the most stable societies. These findings fly in the face of previous studies, where AAA ratings were only bestowed on countries with thick layers of government control and massive bureaucracies.

Oliver Barnstable, a kombucha analyst with the ratings-agency group, said the reversal of the top-tiered status quo left him dazed and confused as to the natural order of things in life.

He said he felt that the new findings had nothing to do with the possibility that the previous ratings might have been based on a completely false precept and grossly exaggerated data leading to a blatantly bogus ratings narrative.

“I just don’t get it,” Barnstable said. “Why would people actually be happy out from underneath the heavy hand of the state, where they could have considerably more freedoms and even think for themselves? It’s not normal.”  Source: FNT Staff  

Photo credit: Original images at: Etsy, om pom happy , Jewish World Review

Canadian Drive-thru Poutine Kiosk Restaurant Chain Sets Social Media Trending Record

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Poutine Kiosk-FNT-Small.pngWEYBURN – A Saskatchewan company that launched a drive-thru chain of poutine kiosks has set a new Canadian business record. Poutine a Go-Go trended on twitter as Canada’s fastest growing non-e-business for two consecutive three-minute windows between noon and six p.m. on November 13th.

“This is exciting stuff,” said Marcel Boulanger, who is originally from Gatineau, Quebec and is expanding his chain of kiosks across the Canadian mid-west. “I mean, last week my bank manager was on my case big-time about paying down my student loan, but when I showed him the latest infographic on my expanded audience base, we’re now talking about going coast to coast.”

Boulanger said that his specialty poutine chain struggled like a lot of small start-ups in the beginning: “the restaurant business is one of the most risky games to go into”, but everything changed for him when he tweeted out a link to an Instagram photo of his cat, Sylvester, who was eating a dish of poutine with squeaky Gorgonzola cheese curds, while belted into his kitty-safe car seat in Boulanger’s ’98 Dodge Neon.

“Everything just exploded then,” the record-setting poutine entrepreneur said. “Since then, I’ve never been busier. “I’m cross-posting with Facebook, and on Friday we’ll be in their hot-topics report. I’ve also hired a team to update my Tweet marketing tactics.”

When asked about other plans he might have for the future, the Canadian drive-thru poutine king explained that he was also going to feature Sylvester the cat in a national Internet advertising campaign to further expand his burgeoning business empire.

“I mean forget quality ingredients, the best locations and an award-winning poutine chef,” he said. “We’re talking a major micro-influencer here!”  Source: FNT Staff  

Photo credit: Original images at: Canadian Living,  Dallas News  , La Poutine,