Cancelled Energy East Oil Pipeline Inventory Converted to Electrical Conduit

Keystone-Pipes-FNT-Small.pngOTTAWA – Canada’s National Energy Board has unveiled a new plan to use up the fifteen-hundred kilometres of new pipe originally slated for the country’s recently cancelled East Energy oil pipeline. Electricity, rather than oil, will now flow through the pipes, to power the next generation of electric vehicles.

“Hey, energy is energy. We won’t let those pipes go to waste,” said Regan Donahue, a NRB spokesperson, at a government press conference on Thursday.

Donahue was adamant that the cancelled oil pipline should be looked at as an opportunity, rather than a failure. He briefly outlined the government’s plan to install a series of electric vehicle charging stations along the existing pipeline route for the previously-proposed project to move crude oil from western Canada to eastern refineries.

“It also opens the door for a huge export market for us,” he said. “And there’s the green thing as well. Electricity is a lot less messy than oil.”

The government has projected the total cost of the futuristic electric vehicle infrastructure project at $69 billion over a twenty year period. Donahue said it would have cost more, however much of the groundwork had been laid with the original oil pipeline plan, and many of the regulatory and environmental concerns have been put to rest.

“People aren’t scared of electricity leaks,” Donahue said.

Also, Canadian taxpayers apparently won’t be on the hook for all the costs.

“It’s going to be funded through a public and private sector international partnership,” he explained. Both China and Russia have shown an interest in investing in the project.”

Donahue appeared slightly uncertain when he was asked to elaborate on the export opportunities that would open up as a result of installing the new electric vehicle support infrastructure from west to east.

“The charging stations will supply electricity for the cars of the future,” he said. “But we’ll be exporting it to other countries for their electric cars as well. The electric line ends at the east coast ocean ports, so we’ll be able load it right on to the ships for export.” Source: FNT Staff

Photo credit: Original images at CBC, Global News, Trans Canada Energy and Tesla

Sale of India’s Iconic Taj Mahal to Disney Company Denied As “Scurrilous Rumour”

Taj-Mahal-FNT-smallAGRA, INDIA – The government of Uttar Pradesh has strongly denied a rumour that India’s famed Taj Mahal will be sold to the Walt Disney Company in California. The Taj Mahal is a world heritage site that has seen tourism decline sharply in the past decade and is considered to be one of the “Seven Wonders of the World.”

The mausoleum, built in the 17th century by the Mughal Emperor in memory of his wife Mumtaz Mahal is built of white marble and is regarded around the world as an architectural masterpiece.

Speculation regarding a possible sale had been rampant for weeks that the government had been negotiating with the Burbank, California entertainment conglomerate for the sale of India’s icon to eternal love. The buzz apparently began when a document that “looked official” was leaked to the local media showing that cultural heritage funding to the site had been denied and it had also been left off the official tourism brochure produced by the state.

“We’ve heard that Disney has plans to erect a new castle on the site like the one in Orlando, Florida,” said Kannan Acharya, a sanitary engineer from New Delhi. “And all because the government will not give any money to the Taj Mahal for tourism. Shame!”

Not everyone in India is disappointed with the idea of selling the iconic site to the Disney Company, however. Two seven-year olds interviewed on a public school playground in Agra thought the construction of a brand new princess castle built by Disney that would be “easy to go to then” because it was “much closer than Florida” , was “ just super fabulous” and “a dece idea”.

Aadarsh Patel, the head of the Uttar Pradesh government’s department of international affairs, who spoke to the media at a hastily-called press conference, called the idea of such a sale “preposterous” and a “scurrilous rumour.”

Patel also denied a leaked document that the government had issued a secret tender for the production of eight-thousand plush Goofy dolls.

As of press time, The Disney Company, which owns theme parks around the world, was unavailable for comment. Source: FNT Staff

Photo credit: Original images at India.com, Govloop.com and Fanpop.com