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Google To Open Bricks And Mortar Superstores To Sell Searches In G7 Countries

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Google Superstore-FNTSAN JOSE, CA – Google announced today that it would open a 100-store bricks and mortar chain of large retail outlets in each of seven countries, beginning next year. A corporate spokesperson, Jason Cadwalader-Smith, said that this latest move would allow the company to “take the business of searches to the next highest plane.”

“We’re always on the cutting edge of innovation,” he explained. “We’ve had small branded kiosks and mini-stores and in shopping malls for years, but having our logo visible on stand-alone superstores right in the heart of the communities in the G-7 countries, will allow us to sell searches to customers who weren’t aware of us on the Internet before.”

Cadwalader-Smith was unable to elaborate why the company thought that people would actually pay money for something in a store that they could get for free on their smartphones. He pointed out that: “searches are what we specialize in.”

However he also said “the usual tee-shirts and mugs and other cool stuff.” would also be available for purchase in  the 100,000 square foot superstore locations.

“And people will also be able to come into our great new retail stores to search right in their own neighbourhoods for really personal things like garage and yard sales and weekend community events, as well as lost puppies and parakeets,” he said.

Every cutting-edge innovation has its critics however.

Jonathan Armbruster, speaking for the National Consumer Advocates Association (NCAA), went as far as to question the very raison d’être for the huge new retail outlets.

“Everyone should remember P.T. Barnum’s dictum. Unfortunately there are some who will always embrace what they believe is the newest, the trendiest and the most fashionable, even if it serves no useful purpose whatsoever. The NCAA does its best but we can’t protect people from themselves.” Source: FNT Staff

Photo credit: Original images at: Google, CNNMoney

Patent Approved for World’s First Self-Suspending Suspension Bridge

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Self Suspension Bridge-FNT-small.pngCOPENHAGEN – A Danish engineering firm has successfully pioneered the world’s first self-suspending suspension bridge. Jensanders Engineering Inc., a small family-owned company from Roskilde has been awarded a worldwide patent on the design.

The bridge, designed and modeled in part on driverless vehicle software technology, and with a free-floating road deck, is the first in the world to suspend itself to span a waterway, without foundations and abutment anchors of any type.

The patent was granted only after the company was able to demonstrate that the bridge could operate in fully autonomous mode, with no danger to vehicles and humans crossing the full span.

Magnus Petersen, the CEO of Jensanders Engineering, outlined some of the challenges the company faced in bringing the groundbreaking project to fruition.

“Well, our biggest problem was finding a spot for field testing the prototype where our competitors wouldn’t get wind of it,” he said.  “A suspension bridge is not something you can set up in your garage.

“That was our third biggest problem, actually,” said Hagen Peterson, the Chief Software Officer for the company. “The biggest one was getting the thing to levitate in the first place, and the second biggest was finding the right type of shielding for the main chip so someone working his iPad a block away wouldn’t suddenly send it a hundred metres to the left or right of the approaches, without any warning.”

Hagen Peterson explained that he and his brother Magnus, worked on the revolutionary self-suspending design for six frustrating years before they had a breakthrough. The prototype would spin out of control and crash into the water once a month, for no apparent reason.

“We finally traced the source of interference to the Northern Lights,” he said. They nearly drove the lidar sensors nuts. But after I covered the motherboard with aluminum foil, that settled it right down. I can operate it now on manual override from my smartphone”

His brother was quick to point out the hurdles that were still ahead.

“The prototype is only approved for a fifty metre span and a hundred and seventy tonne load,” Magnus said. “So we’ve really got a lot of work to do yet on the technology before we can take it to the market.” Source: FNT Staff

Photo credit: Original images at Pixabay,