SAN JOSE, CA – Google announced today that it would open a 100-store bricks and mortar chain of large retail outlets in each of seven countries, beginning next year. A corporate spokesperson, Jason Cadwalader-Smith, said that this latest move would allow the company to “take the business of searches to the next highest plane.”
“We’re always on the cutting edge of innovation,” he explained. “We’ve had small branded kiosks and mini-stores and in shopping malls for years, but having our logo visible on stand-alone superstores right in the heart of the communities in the G-7 countries, will allow us to sell searches to customers who weren’t aware of us on the Internet before.”
Cadwalader-Smith was unable to elaborate why the company thought that people would actually pay money for something in a store that they could get for free on their smartphones. He pointed out that: “searches are what we specialize in.”
However he also said “the usual tee-shirts and mugs and other cool stuff.” would also be available for purchase in the 100,000 square foot superstore locations.
“And people will also be able to come into our great new retail stores to search right in their own neighbourhoods for really personal things like garage and yard sales and weekend community events, as well as lost puppies and parakeets,” he said.
Every cutting-edge innovation has its critics however.
Jonathan Armbruster, speaking for the National Consumer Advocates Association (NCAA), went as far as to question the very raison d’être for the huge new retail outlets.
“Everyone should remember P.T. Barnum’s dictum. Unfortunately there are some who will always embrace what they believe is the newest, the trendiest and the most fashionable, even if it serves no useful purpose whatsoever. The NCAA does its best but we can’t protect people from themselves.” Source: FNT Staff