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Sale of India’s Iconic Taj Mahal to Disney Company Denied As “Scurrilous Rumour”

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Taj-Mahal-FNT-smallAGRA, INDIA – The government of Uttar Pradesh has strongly denied a rumour that India’s famed Taj Mahal will be sold to the Walt Disney Company in California. The Taj Mahal is a world heritage site that has seen tourism decline sharply in the past decade and is considered to be one of the “Seven Wonders of the World.”

The mausoleum, built in the 17th century by the Mughal Emperor in memory of his wife Mumtaz Mahal is built of white marble and is regarded around the world as an architectural masterpiece.

Speculation regarding a possible sale had been rampant for weeks that the government had been negotiating with the Burbank, California entertainment conglomerate for the sale of India’s icon to eternal love. The buzz apparently began when a document that “looked official” was leaked to the local media showing that cultural heritage funding to the site had been denied and it had also been left off the official tourism brochure produced by the state.

“We’ve heard that Disney has plans to erect a new castle on the site like the one in Orlando, Florida,” said Kannan Acharya, a sanitary engineer from New Delhi. “And all because the government will not give any money to the Taj Mahal for tourism. Shame!”

Not everyone in India is disappointed with the idea of selling the iconic site to the Disney Company, however. Two seven-year olds interviewed on a public school playground in Agra thought the construction of a brand new princess castle built by Disney that would be “easy to go to then” because it was “much closer than Florida” , was “ just super fabulous” and “a dece idea”.

Aadarsh Patel, the head of the Uttar Pradesh government’s department of international affairs, who spoke to the media at a hastily-called press conference, called the idea of such a sale “preposterous” and a “scurrilous rumour.”

Patel also denied a leaked document that the government had issued a secret tender for the production of eight-thousand plush Goofy dolls.

As of press time, The Disney Company, which owns theme parks around the world, was unavailable for comment. Source: FNT Staff

Photo credit: Original images at India.com, Govloop.com and Fanpop.com

Unidentified Artifacts Discovered In King Tut’s Tomb Found To Be Multivitamins

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King Tut Montage-FNT-Small.pngVALLEY OF THE KINGS– Archeological experts have confirmed that previously unidentified artifacts found in the tomb of the boy king Tutankhamun almost a hundred years ago are children’s multivitamins.

The pill-size gray oblong objects originally discovered among the funerary objects had been sitting in a formerly unclassified assortment of other flotsam from the site, since 1922. They were accidently included with a box of items sent along for analysis when a DNA test was done on the mummified remains in 2008.

“It’s one of the most important discoveries to come out of ancient Egypt,” said Raoul Gazarra, who heads up the largest exhibit of Tutankhamun artifacts, which is now on a seventeen country world tour. “I mean, think about it, vitamins….wow! It’s the strongest evidence as to why, other than the tad of scoliosis and the cleft palate, no serious congenital abnormalities were found in his mummy. They were way ahead of their time back then, when it came to looking after their health.”

The find was greeted by initial skepticism from the rest of the scientific community, but Gazarra put that down to what he said was “professional jealousy”. And he bristled when asked why it had taken the archeologists ninety-five years to identify and catalogue the vitamins.

“They had just been tumbled in among the walking sticks and shrine panels and such, and frankly, we just hadn’t gotten around to sorting them out,” he snapped.

Gazarra also said that one of the reasons for the long delay was that the objects had been offhandedly dismissed by the original team of artifact typologists as “maybe pebbles” or “possibly the petrified fecal material of a small rodent, eewwwww.”

The confirmation of the multivitamin discovery has not only stirred up the scientific community, but he said that there was commercial interest as well. When asked what it did for the future of the Tutankhamun exhibit, he was sanguine.

“We’re golden,” he said. “I think it’s safe to say that it puts paid to the alleged Curse of the Pharaohs. The funding opportunities here are enormous. We got a licensing offer from the Flintstones people just yesterday.” Source: FNT Staff

 

Photo credit: Original images by Lonely Planet/ WitR  and AP Photo/Mohamed El-Dakhakhny