Category: United States

Apple Inc. Shareholders Vote Down Proposed Corporate Name-change

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Apple Inc.-FNT-01-SmallCUPERTINO, CA – A fractious annual general meeting of the tech giant Apple Inc. nearly ended in what one corporate insider called “potential disaster”. After a fierce debate, the shareholders voted today to reject a proposal to change the name of the iconic forty-year-old corporation to Orange Inc.  The no vote was carried by a narrow margin of one percent.

Apple, with worldwide sales of $229 billion, has been consistently ranked as the most valuable brand on the globe, so the proposal to change the name pitted traditionalists against new age thinking.

“I’m deeply disappointed” said Alvin Holstead, a shareholder from Los Angeles, who proposed the name change and led the discussion from the floor. “I mean, let’s get with it, people! Why must we always remain in lockstep with the past?”

Holstead, who called himself an “activist”, a “foodie” and an “advocate for oranges everywhere” said that he owns ten shares of stock in Apple Inc. His impassioned speech caught the attention of another like-minded shareholder at the meeting. James Archer from Tampa, Florida, who owns thirty shares of Apple stock, seized upon the idea and threw his full support behind it.

“It’s really all about personal choice,” said Archer. “I’ve always liked oranges better than apples, and anyway, they’re better for you, with all that vitamin c and such.”

As the news of the debate over the name spread to the public before the vote, the stock price of Apple Inc. dipped sharply and temporarily wiped billions of dollars of investment capital off the NASDAQ.

The financial media have termed the controversy: FruitGate. The market has now recovered, but uncertainty lingers about the future.

Holstead and Archer were unrepentant about the Apple contretemps. They have formed an organization they are calling Change-for-the-sake-of-Change, and are signing up names for their cause.

“Well we may have lost round one, but we’ll be back here at the annual meeting again next year,” Holstead said. “I mean, if orange is the new black, why can’t it be the new Apple?” Source: FNT Staff

 

Photo credit: Original images by: Linkedin Learning/Apple Inc. , School of Thinking, and  Zurb Foundation

 

NASA Sending Giant Darning Needle Into Space to Patch Hole In Earth’s Ozone Layer

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NASA-Earth-FNT-SmallHOUSTON – In a move on Friday that was both praised and pilloried, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration announced that it will be sending a giant darning needle into space to patch the hole in Earth’s ozone layer. NASA said that it was taking action now because the ozone hole has shrunk to its smallest size in almost thirty years.

“We’ve been aware of that unsightly hole for years, of course,” said David Gemison, NASA’s Chief Space Needle Engineer from his satellite office in Seattle. “But now it’s finally shriveled down to a manageable size that we can mend, and still stay within our annual budget.”

The news rendered the National Darning Needle Association agog with delight. Within hours of the NASA announcement, the NDNA issued a media release commending the space agency on what it called a “pioneering initiative that opens many doors into the future for our industry.”

“Hardly anyone darns and mends with needles anymore,” said Mary Thornstein, an NDNA spokesperson. “So we sent NASA a proof of concept for the mission and I guess the timing was just right. This gives our industry a terrific shot in the arm. It’s wonderful!”

The unusual NASA project was not without criticism however. The World Velcro Guild (WVG) called it a “pathetic old fashioned approach” and a WVG spokesperson sniffed that it was “shamefully late”.

“That embarrassing abyss over the pole could have been covered up years ago if they had opted for a patch with hooks and loops,” said Raul Emerson, the WGV’s Chief Fastening Officer. “But the cheapskates didn’t want to spend the money.”

NASA’s Gemison acknowledged that budget considerations had played a part in the delay to cover the hole, but also said that for such critical work in space they had “wanted to stay with the tried and true.” He also claimed that one of the reasons that NASA went with the giant needle mission was that the NDNA’s research and development program with large needles was “just spectacular.”

“Now we’re working with them on another innovative new procedure for mending black holes,” he said. Source: FNT Staff

 

Photo credit: Original images by: CTV News/NASA and Berroco