Quebec Lawmakers Finally Run Out of New Ideas for Laws to Pass and Things to Ban

Quebec-Ideas-Ban-FNT-small.pngQUEBEC CITY – After passing a law banning baseball (Bill 62-B) and having to fight a lie detector test in court to defend Bill 62, the Assemblée nationale du Québec has finally run out of new ideas for laws to pass and things to ban. One lawmaker that a reporter from FauxNews Today spoke with, seemed dazed and confused about the current state of affairs in the Assemblée nationale.

“On nous a tous dit de rentrer tôt à la maison, et de penser très fort.”, he said. Roughly translated this means: “They told us all to go home early, and put our thinking caps on.”

This does not come as a surprise to some. The Assemblée nationale has seen an almost non-stop flurry of legislative activity over the past few months. Lawmakers have attempted to pass legislation that would put a stop to almost every possible human activity that people might engage in, and especially those that they might enjoy.

First, there was Bill 62, which bans children from wearing Halloween masks on buses as well as people from wearing scarves and balaclavas in January on ski slopes funded by the provincial government. This law has been challenged in the courts.

Subsequently people are now being told that they cannot be courteous to others anymore, for fear of having someone from government in one’s face.

A Zamboni driver at Montreal’s Bell Centre who spoke off the record thought long and hard for a moment before he would comment on the sudden dearth of ideas in the Assemblée nationale. Finally he said: “Ça ne me surprend pas, ils ont brûlé leur petit cerveau.” [“…It does not surprise me. They have all worn out their tiny little brains.”]   Source: FNT Staff  

Photo credit: Original images at: Madelaine Mautford , Gartner Blog Network

Quebec Hires Legal Top Team to Fight Lie Detector Test In Court Challenge of Bill 62

BILL 62 Vote-FNT-Small.pngMONTREAL – With the upcoming constitutional court challenge over Bill 62 (the Quebec anti-face-covering law) the province has hired a top legal team to vigorously defend against the use of a lie detector in determining some facts about the legislation. The controversial law, which forces individuals to remove articles of their clothing in a public place, is an especially egregious affront to women.

Bill 62 also bans children from wearing Halloween masks on buses as well as people of all ages and genders from wearing scarves and balaclavas in January on ski slopes funded by the provincial government.

This new legislation, which FauxNews today believes has no place in any country that professes to call itself a democracy, will be hard pressed to stand up to a constitutional challenge, on purely religious grounds alone. But the province has enlisted the best legal talent that public money can buy to head off any possibility that witnesses for the defense might have to submit to a lie detector test.

The architects of Bill 62 have claimed that the law was conceived and constructed in “religious neutrality”, which any number of people and organizations in and out of Quebec have roundly pooh-poohed as being disingenuous.

A mechanic from Montreal, Marcel Vaillencourt, suggested to FauxNews Today that the claim of “religious neutrality” as the intent behind crafting the new anti-face-covering law was: ”… un grand gros contrevérité” [roughly translated as: “… a fully-loaded nose-stretcher with a turbocharged V-8 engine.”]

A spokesperson for the government who spoke off the record about Bill 62 said: “Tous ceux qui disent que nous avons dit un gros fausseté sur nos motivations, devra prouver.” [Anyone who says that we have told a whopper about our motives, will have to prove it].

Clearly there cannot be two versions of the truth, so a lie detector test would be the only fool-proof method of determining who is guilty of exaggerating, fabricating, fibbing or omitting facts in this matter.

The courts will ultimately decide the outcome of Bill 62, however without a lie detector test Canadians may never know the true intent behind its crafting.  However before he went back to work, Monsieur Vaillencourt from Montreal offered his opinion, as a personal critique of the political process behind the passing of the anti-face-covering law.

“L’hypocrisie en démocratie pue très mal.” [“Democracy tainted by hypocrisy smells like a dead fish four-days-old.”] Source: FNT Staff  

Photo credit: Original images at: Toronto Sun, The Montreal Gazette/Allen McInnis ,   American Eagle Investigations, and  Global News