Tag: Canada

Canada Elevated to Goody Two Shoes Status on Countries-of–the-World Niceness Scale

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Canada Best COuntry-FNT-Small.pngTORONTO– After being rated the best country in the world by millennials, and gathering various other accolades, Canada has surpassed itself yet again with its latest ranking on the countries-of-the-world niceness scale.  Voted “Tops In Congeniality” three years ago and “Nice as Pie” last season, in 2017 Canada achieved “Goody Two Shoes” status; a special award created to mark the country’s one hundred and fifty year anniversary.

Gracious kudos and congratulations poured in from the runners-up in niceness all over the world, places like Norway, Denmark and Sweden. Australia alone, a country once held in very high esteem in the sweetness and light niceness category, was the sole poor loser of the group, muttering nasty things under its breath and then slipping away from the festivities to mope and pout under the stairs.

Several older and more experienced countries observed the celebrations from the sidelines, and at least one grizzled veteran of the popularity wars had a word of warning for the Great White North. Switzerland, a consistent favourite in the “perfect country” sweepstakes in years past and now an also-ran, allowed loudly enough for bystanders to hear that Canada shouldn’t get a swelled head because of all the attention because fame was fleeting and when you were perched precariously at the top, it was a very long fall to the bottom.

Canada, however took the veiled criticism in stride with humility and self-effacement. It noted that it had only ranked as the 6th happiest country in the world in another survey, so it knew it was far from perfect. It then pledged to “set a better example and do its utmost to be happier in the future.” Source: FNT Staff  

Photo credit: Original images at: CTV , Mental Floss

Secret CSIS Program Under Bill C-51 to De-radicalize Canadian Cats, Exposed To Public Scrutiny

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Cat & Bird & Mouse-FNT-Small.pngOTTAWA – Civil libertarians and PETA have sounded the alarm that the Canadian cat population is being selectively brainwashed. The brouhaha began after media outlets reported that the animal control division of the Canadian Security Intelligence Service (CSIS) is surreptitiously using its new powers under Bill C-51 to disrupt what the defenders say is normal behaviour for cats.

The publicity-shy spy agency hunkered down into a defensive posture when the news about its controversial practices broke on Friday and raised the ire of pet owners across the country.

“We’ve had to take these steps because of the ongoing violence against Canada’s birds and rodents,” said Oliver Forsythe, who is a feline psychologist and heads up the formerly secret CSIS animal control program. “And we do it by intervening directly with the cats to de-radicalize their behavior.”

This was the first time that CSIS has admitted the use of its new powers under Bill C-51 to disrupt the behavior of Canadian house-pets.

The feline “interventions” according to Forsythe, can take different forms. CSIS disruption powers allow the agency to interfere with feeding habits, naps and visits to the litter-box. If a cat has a Twitter account for the purpose of attracting birds, it may be monitored. A repeat-offender cat may even be catnapped from its owner’s yard and taken to a pound without a warrant.

The provisions of Bill C-51 that allow intrusiveness like this have garnered criticism from the outset. But despite the very vocal public opposition to this law, and despite its promise to do so, the government continues to drag its heels in terms of making any changes to protect feline rights.

“As Canadians we need to ensure that our cats set an example of civilized behaviour for the rest of the world,” Forsythe said. “We are working hard so that Canada becomes a safer place for its small feathered and furry fauna.” Source: FNT Staff  

Photo credit: Created from images at: Duke University/Scott Winton , Victor