Tag: Canada

Canada Crafting Federal Legislation to Make Unpopular Opinions Illegal, to Appease Mob

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Social Media Mob-FNT-Small.pngOTTAWA – Ever quick to kowtow to any frivolous demand for political gain, the Canadian government is now considering legislation that will make any opinion illegal that does not meet with the approval of the social media mob.

Canada’s newly-appointed Minister of Social Media, Wesley J. Cranshaw, is moving forward federal Bill C-16U, which follows closely on the heels of Bill C-16, its controversial antecedent.

Bill C-16 has been called, “idiotic”, “a travesty”, “an insult to common sense”, and “Naziesque” by various members of the public when a YouTube video went viral exposing the dangers inherent in the legislation.

Bill C-16U will go one better and change the federal human rights act and the Criminal Code to make any opinion illegal, if it is deemed to be unpopular by a social media mob.

There have been numerous objections to Bill C-16U, however as they are considered unpopular opinions, they have been ignored by the government. And after the passage of the Bill they will immediately be made illegal.

“Our goal is to show Canadians on social media that we are one-hundred percent responsive to their every wish, as long as it can be e-verified as the latest, most up-to-date popular opinion,” said Cranshaw. “As for unpopular opinions, they simply cannot be left to stand.” Source: FNT Staff  

Photo credit: Created from images at: Thougyhtfullydetached/ Andrew B. Myers, prop stylist Sonia Rentsch , Slideplayer

Canada Establishes First Remedial University for Faculty Members Accidently Promoted Above Level of Competence

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Remedial University-FNT-Small.pngTORONTO – Canada’s Society for Challenged Learners (SFCL) has been granted a charter to establish the country’s first remedial institution of higher education. A spokesperson for SFCL said it was necessary for the organization to snap into action following the “recent disgraceful conduct by university faculty members who blotted their copybooks, big-time.”

With firm-handed guidance from the SFCL, the first Remedial University will open next month, in Toronto. The campus will occupy a restored building on the site of Ontario’s abandoned Oakville gas plant. The first tranche of students to fill the lecture theatre is expected to arrive directly from academic faculty positions at universities from across the country.

FauxNews Today asked SFCL’s current president, Alvin Chakowski, why someone already teaching at a ranking Canadian university would need remedial education.

“Sometimes people just slip through the cracks,” he said.  ”It can happen in any large organization, even in academia. People get promoted into positions they are not intellectually equipped to handle.” He then supplied a hotlink to a detailed explanation of the Peter Principle.

The Remedial U curriculum will focus on learning to disengage from cultural groupthink and dogma, developing an understanding of nuance, and gaining a sense of perspective as to when, exactly, one should use loaded words like “abuse” and “unsafe learning environment.” Entrance exams have been waived as long as applicants have a note from their mothers certifying that they have been toilet trained.

The Oakville campus will also feature several specially constructed architectural ‘corners’ where remedial education staff may send troublemakers to stand and reflect on their delinquencies.

The goal, says Chakowski, is that at the end of a year’s immersion at Remedial U, students will come away with a diploma, and the intellect of an adult. They can then go back to a position teaching on the faculty of a ranking university, without debasing the profession.

“However, there are extreme cases,” he said. “If the groupthink impulses and dogma have metastasized in the brain, it might be necessary to have additional remedial classes for the remedial class.” Source: FNT Staff  

Photo credit: Created from images at: Schiller School , University Parent  , Neatoroma