OTTAWA – Following a recommendation from a panel of international “experts” in education, the federal government will now ban the teaching of history in the nation’s classrooms. The newly established orthodoxy has it that: “offensive facts must be banned, for the public good”.
A spokesperson for the federal government, Clive Knickerson, explained that the department of education drew up the innovative new policy in response to a “critical post on Twitter by an A-list celebrity” who had expressed concern that some history is not only offensive, but also might be dangerous for children.
The post had set off a tsunami of social media commentary and Knickerson said that in the light of this e-clamour and “for the sake of the children” the feds had “no choice” but to “be seen to be doing something about it.”
“So the department took action immediately,” he said. “It was too important to the public to delay, and it is the safest way to protect all Canadians.” He allowed however that “If a B-list or C-list celebrity or an ordinary citizen had raised the issue, it might have taken longer to come to a decision.
Knickerson was quick to officially rebuke a Facebook post from a concerned citizen who submitted that history should be exposed to the public, not buried, so that people could learn from the mistakes of the past.
“Remember that Henry Ford said ‘History is bunk!’ “, he texted back to the poster, referring to the industrialist who gave the world the mass-production fossil-fuel-burning automobile.
He also defended the move by government to ban history from classrooms as a matter, of necessity, to hold on to power. “We’re capitalizing on a current social trend in order to remain relevant to the voting public,” he said.
“After we remove historical statues from public view, change the names of schools and public buildings and ostracize the descendants of long-dead persons for long-ago transgressions, we have to take this to the next level. And banning things is what governments do best.” Source: FNT Staff