Category: Canada

Canada Elevated to Goody Two Shoes Status on Countries-of–the-World Niceness Scale

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Canada Best COuntry-FNT-Small.pngTORONTO– After being rated the best country in the world by millennials, and gathering various other accolades, Canada has surpassed itself yet again with its latest ranking on the countries-of-the-world niceness scale.  Voted “Tops In Congeniality” three years ago and “Nice as Pie” last season, in 2017 Canada achieved “Goody Two Shoes” status; a special award created to mark the country’s one hundred and fifty year anniversary.

Gracious kudos and congratulations poured in from the runners-up in niceness all over the world, places like Norway, Denmark and Sweden. Australia alone, a country once held in very high esteem in the sweetness and light niceness category, was the sole poor loser of the group, muttering nasty things under its breath and then slipping away from the festivities to mope and pout under the stairs.

Several older and more experienced countries observed the celebrations from the sidelines, and at least one grizzled veteran of the popularity wars had a word of warning for the Great White North. Switzerland, a consistent favourite in the “perfect country” sweepstakes in years past and now an also-ran, allowed loudly enough for bystanders to hear that Canada shouldn’t get a swelled head because of all the attention because fame was fleeting and when you were perched precariously at the top, it was a very long fall to the bottom.

Canada, however took the veiled criticism in stride with humility and self-effacement. It noted that it had only ranked as the 6th happiest country in the world in another survey, so it knew it was far from perfect. It then pledged to “set a better example and do its utmost to be happier in the future.” Source: FNT Staff  

Photo credit: Original images at: CTV , Mental Floss

Report: New Study Reveals That A High-Fat Diet Makes A Person Fat

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High Fat Diet-FNT-Small.pngTORONTO – A recent report issued by the North American Health Organization (NAHO) on the much-touted high-fat diet has revealed some startling news for people who regularly try and control the food and drink that they consume, through dieting.  A controlled study showed that a high-fat diet makes people fat.

This should come as no surprise to people who have tried desperately to lose weight while eating regular helpings of sausages, bacon-cheese burgers, donuts and ice cream, and not had any luck.

However the results came as a shock to Doctor Harvey Zarlon, chief of metabolic research at the Scarborough Food Institute, which hosted this latest study on the effectiveness of various fad diets for NAHO. He put eleven test subjects on a high-saturated-fat diet for one month to prove the results. However all the subjects gained weight on the strictly-controlled diet of fried chicken, pork fatback and butter tarts.

“I don’t understand it,” said Doctor Zarlon, who gained sixteen pounds himself in the four weeks. He said he tried the diet on the recommendation of his second-cousin by marriage Marvin Hallstop, who is also a beneficiary of the doctor’s five-million dollar life insurance policy.

“Marvin told me that he lost thirty pounds in three days, but I didn’t just take his word for it,” he said. “We’ve done our due diligence on this at the Institute and it’s supposed to work.Eating fat makes your body burn more fat.”

At press time Doctor Zarlon was still poering over his notes for an explanation when he suddelny cried: “Eureka! I know what happened. We ate the right fatty foods but I forgot we were supposed to wash everything down with diet coke.” Source: FNT Staff  

Photo credit: Created from images at:Inquirer /Business ,