Report: Accumulating Space Junk Will Solve Earth’s Global Warming, Climate Change

Space Junk Around earth-FNT-Small.pngHOUSTON – The prestigious, international Committee On Debris In Space (CODIS) has just issued a new report that has climate change and global warming advocates breathing much easier. The research shows that, at the current rate of space exploration, the amount of space junk circling the Earth will soon reach a point where it will stop the climate change that is now taking place on the planet.

There are currently more than 23,000 bits and pieces of space debris that are in orbit around Earth, and the numbers grow with every new launch of a vehicle into space.

These human-induced items that have become orbiting space junk may be as small as a fingernail or larger than a minivan.  They comprise things like used rocket parts, space stations that have spun out of control, dysfunctional satellites and even tools dropped by astronauts.

This ring of orbital trash circles the earth at roughly 10 times faster than a high-velocity rifle bullet and can stay up there for hundreds of years, creating the potential for collisions in space and making space exploration more dangerous as every year goes by. Self-introduced hazards however have never stopped humankind from heedlessly pressing ahead in the name of science, when it comes to any new venture.

And, according to the experts, it’s not all bad news. Once the circle of space junk around the planet gets thick enough, it will block out the sun, thus eliminating global warming and climate change. So, a big problem solved!

This news was so encouraging that, in the spirit of making lemonade when one is stuck with lemons, CODIS has titled the space-junk report: “Earth’s Silver Lining”   Source: FNT Staff  

Photo credit: Created from images at: Business Insider, The Paula Gordon Show

NASA Launches Deep Fat Fryer Into Space to Save Planet From Global Warming

Earth-Space-FNT-SmallHOUSTON – Following the publication of a scientific paper that claimed that molecules from deep fat frying  may have a cooling effect on the climate, NASA immediately launched a deep fat fryer into space. The unit is fully operational and uses a solar panel to generate enough power to deep fry chicken and French fries.  It will orbit the Earth continuously with the intent to put a stop to global warming and climate change.

“Hey, according to what we see on television almost every day the oceans will boil over in a few years,” said Dexter Paragucci, NASA’s chief donut maker. “So I said, what the heck! I can sacrifice my trusty Hamilton Beach for a good cause.”

The deep fryer from the NASA cafeteria was modified with a lightweight basket and an extra-deep fat reservoir so it wouldn’t have to be refilled as often. A cadre of fast food fans stood by and cheered loudly as the three-stage booster rocket lifted off with the deep fryer unit fastened to the nose cone with duct tape.

“We were in a hurry,” Paragucci explained, regarding the use of duct tape. “But not to worry, it’s been tested on a lot of other flights as well.”

NASA launch control team members were extremely pleased with the mission although they were a bit peeved when they found that hush puppies and cider donuts had suddenly been taken off the menu in the cafeteria until further notice.

“This is a gigantic leap forward for food service research and climate science,” said Paragucci. “Who knew that fatty acids could save the world?” Source: FNT Staff  

Photo credit: Created from images at: Amazon/Hamilton Beach : HD Wallpaper