PARIS –Seventy-nine kilos of matter have been found behind a filing cabinet at the European Space Agency. A team comprised of Scientists from sixteen universities have now agreed that it must be the missing matter from the universe that they had been formerly unable to find.
Astrophysicists have confirmed that the material is definitely normal matter not the more scarce dark matter, and early tests show it has the same general makeup as a truckload of the stuff that disappeared several years ago from a parking lot in suburban Philadelphia. It had apparently been left over from the Big Bang and misplaced when the cleaning crew went home early to watch the Super Bowl.
“We initially thought it was lost somewhere in the gas filaments between two galaxies,” said one of the team members who asked that his name be kept confidential until they could determine for certain if it was the matter that went missing 13 billion years ago or if it was another lot that had been misplaced a billion years earlier.”
One of the cosmologists let slip that the only reason that they discovered the mysterious missing matter was because a keener lab assistant had moved the filing cabinet out to vacuum behind it. He said that they definitely lucked out with the find because protons and neutrons are usually much more difficult to locate because they are invisible. Source: FNT Staff