Ontario’s New Green Energy Plan: Move Cities Closer Together To Reduce Commuting Distances

Ontario-FNT-smallTORONTO – The Ontario government has announced a radical new plan to save energy and reduce the carbon footprint for the province. Beginning in January 2018, select Ontario cities will be moved significantly closer to each other to reduce the commuting distances and commute times between them.

Several cities have been identified to be part of the GE Plan pilot project. These include Toronto and Hamilton, Sudbury and North Bay and Kenora and Thunder Bay, which are all strong candidates to be squeezed closer together to reap the many benefits projected by the government planners.

Queen’s Park held a media briefing to announce the ambitious new plan. The atmosphere was electric with excitement as journalists were encouraged to mingle shoulder to shoulder with government insiders around a tabletop model that had been set up to explain the concept.

The model showed that the GE Plan would achieve the most dramatic results by moving Kenora and Thunder Bay toward each other by several hundred kilometres along the Trans-Canada Highway. One of the architects had shown as a “win-win-win” side-note that this would have the added advantage of including the township of Ignace, which would be captured within the new footprint of the two cities.

A skeptic who publicly pointed out that moving Thunder Bay would also necessitate dredging out an inland basin of several million hectares to extend Lake Superior was first pooh-poohed and then ostracized by his fellow bureaucrats. He was then forcefully separated from the glass of chardonnay and cheese canapé that he was holding and quickly hustled out the door into the street.

The divertissement temporarily clouded the spirit of the event, however after the cynic was ejected the buoyant atmosphere was restored. Diligent reporters were able to catch snippets of self-congratulatory conversation by the remaining officials who spoke among themselves in unguarded moments.  “Absolutely brilliant!, “It will save Ontario millions, even billions!” and “It’s the greenest plan yet!” Source: FNT Staff

Photo credit: Original images at: World Atlas,

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