Report: Political Ideas Labelled New Found to be Factory Seconds and Scratch and Dent Items

Factory Seconds-FNT-small.pngOTTAWA – A report from the political science department at the University of Ottawa has shed light on why the current spate of political ideas and practices seem dilapidated, shabby, flawed and they fail prematurely. The U of O study found that a great many ideas that were being touted as fresh, original and ground-breaking were all either factory seconds or scratch and dent items that had been polished up a bit and sold as brand-new in the box.

“Certainly goes a long way to explaining the current state of affairs in governments here at all levels,” said Professor Jason Pfisterman, who headed up the research project. He was reluctant to name names however, muttering something under his breath about “jeopardising his funding.”

The revealing report stirred up criticism among some citizens however. Arnold Wonburn, a latte taster from Aurora Ontario, was incensed at the discovery. “I didn’t vote or anything,” he said, “but I feel ripped off by my government representative, whoever he or she is.”

The federal government responded to the controversy by setting up a toll-free hot line in Ottawa for people from across the country to call in and leave their concerns on voice mail, after listening to an apology on a pre-recorded message.

Several media outlets have called the revelation “shocking” and “potentially criminal, in light of the fact that factory-second ideas have no consumer warranty.”

The phenomenon also appears to be more widespread than originally thought.

“You understand that this particular report only speaks for the Canadian political scene,” said Professor Pfisterman. “But I wouldn’t be surprised if these results proved the same for politics the world over.” Source: FNT Staff  

Photo credit: Original images at: Nambucca Valley, : Simplysfdc, University of Ottawa, Northumbria Students Union,

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