WASHINGTON, D.C. – The President of the United States, by his own admission, has had a very good year. And to ensure that it continues, he has, by Executive Order, extended 2017 indefinitely, until further notice.
“It was great,” he said. “Huge. I ran a fantastic campaign and absolutely won in a cakewalk. After being sworn in as POTUS in January of 2017, I had the absolutely best year, better than any other president. The others that had been elected before me were disasters, believe me. I’ve accomplished more great things this year than any POTUS has ever done, ever. So in recognition of that greatness, I decided to emancipate 2017 and have it carry on in its fantastic way, by Presidential Directive, which I assure you I have every right to do.”
“Executive Orders have the force of law,” he said. “So until this one gets blocked by the courts because I may have exceeded my authority, hey 2017, do your great stuff.”
“A few people have been spreading rumours about Russia and the election, and then there was that health care business, but both those things happened so yesterday that we really need to get past them now. That’s why I am extending 2017, because it was a lucky year for me. The stock market is up 5000 points and everyone is happy. I’ve made the country great again.”
He also cited the elimination of global warming as one of his achievements for 2017.
“Before I was elected, everyone said there was global warming. Now we don’t have it. Is there any better evidence than that?”
“Now, next year, 2018, when I decide to let it happen, will be even better. I absolutely guarantee it. I might do that, let 2018 come ringing in, and I might not, because this year has been such a great one for me, the greatest one for any POTUS ever, why should it end just because a calendar says so? The dishonest media will tell you otherwise, but that’s just fake news. You can believe me on that score.
“But I may just let 2017 continue right up until 2020, when I will be re-elected, because of the dishonest media. Without me, and you can take this to the bank, they would go right down the tubes.” Source: FNT Staff
Photo credit: Original images at: NBC News