Nostradamus Estate Files Lawsuit Against Global Scientists for Copyright Infringement

Earth-NASA-FNT-small.pngPROVENCE – The estate of the French seer Nostradamus, has filed a copyright-infringement lawsuit against a global group of scientists that predicted the end of the world with a ‘warning to humanity’.  The lawsuit comes on the heels of the group being accused by its own community of making ‘overheated claims’ and ‘scaremongering’, and adds potential financial injury to the insult of being dissed by its own peers.

The statement of claim filed by the Nostradamus estate charges that the scientists’ ‘warning to humanity’ was plagiarized directly from a 16th century quatrain by the great man himself, where his prophecies alluded to all manners of disasters yet to come that accurately foreshadowed the end of the world.

The lawsuit is a severe setback for the growth industry centred on the world’s climate, which skeptics point out is fueled in great part by phantasmagorical speculation based on scientific theory that cannot be proven or disproven by empirical methods.

“There goes my next year’s funding,” complained one scientist who said he was uncomfortable giving out his name. He said he was working on a new climate change model for earth that was predicated largely on human activity, but also factored in x-rays that emanated periodically from the planet Jupiter.

“No one’s brought in the Jupiter thing before,” he said. “So that should get me to the front of the funding queue. But, ever tried to get money for a project when you’ve got litigation pending? It’s a non-starter.”

The claim by the seer’s estate also put the kibosh on a start-up company that was selling ‘scientific séances’ with the ‘authentic ghost of Nostradamus’. A researcher could purchase a full half-hour persono-a-persono discussion with the ghost of the great man, while in a hypnotic trance. The service, which cost $1200.00, included the hypnosis, which could be done online. It was marketed via social media and was available to any accredited scientist with a Facebook account. There was a 10% discount for anyone who signed up for Amazon Prime.   Source: FNT Staff  

Photo credit: Original images at: CBC, NASA, Wikipedia, Digital Dealer,

NASA Scientist Loses Dunkin Donuts Gift Card Discount Privileges Over Flat Earth Society Membership Disclosure

Flat Earth-FNTPASADENA, CA – The discovery on Wednesday that a leading NASA climate change researcher was a member of the Flat Earth Society led to calls for his resignation from several scientific boards on global warming. Then things took a turn for the worse when Dunkin Donuts revoked his gift card discount privileges.

“That really stung,” said Barney Grosskurth, who holds a doctorate in climate science and lectures at Caltech. “I could have lived with the loss of prestige, but to take away my ten-percent? That’s a sucker punch right in the wallet.”

Grosskurth said that the firestorm of controversy began after his name was discovered on the Flat Earth Society’s membership list when their database was hacked. Then someone reported it on the climate change denial hotline; 1-888-RAT-FINK.

He shrugged off what his accusers are now calling “environmental heresy” as a minor youthful indiscretion.

“I signed up years ago just for yucks when I was an undergrad, and went to a couple of meetings.” he said. “It was a good way to meet girls. Now I’m being labeled a denier, my Twitter account has been suspended and no one will return my e-mails.”

As Grosskurth was speaking with FauxNews Today, a middle-aged couple drove up in a diesel Humvee and slashed the tires on his Toyota Prius.  “Oops, I guess mom and dad heard about the membership thing too,” he said.

At press time, representatives for NASA, Dunkin Donuts and the Flat Earth Society were unavailable for comment. Source: FNT Staff  

Photo credit: Original images at: The Guardian, Flat Earth Society, and NASA