PASADENA, CA – The discovery on Wednesday that a leading NASA climate change researcher was a member of the Flat Earth Society led to calls for his resignation from several scientific boards on global warming. Then things took a turn for the worse when Dunkin Donuts revoked his gift card discount privileges.
“That really stung,” said Barney Grosskurth, who holds a doctorate in climate science and lectures at Caltech. “I could have lived with the loss of prestige, but to take away my ten-percent? That’s a sucker punch right in the wallet.”
Grosskurth said that the firestorm of controversy began after his name was discovered on the Flat Earth Society’s membership list when their database was hacked. Then someone reported it on the climate change denial hotline; 1-888-RAT-FINK.
He shrugged off what his accusers are now calling “environmental heresy” as a minor youthful indiscretion.
“I signed up years ago just for yucks when I was an undergrad, and went to a couple of meetings.” he said. “It was a good way to meet girls. Now I’m being labeled a denier, my Twitter account has been suspended and no one will return my e-mails.”
As Grosskurth was speaking with FauxNews Today, a middle-aged couple drove up in a diesel Humvee and slashed the tires on his Toyota Prius. “Oops, I guess mom and dad heard about the membership thing too,” he said.
At press time, representatives for NASA, Dunkin Donuts and the Flat Earth Society were unavailable for comment. Source: FNT Staff