OTTAWA – Round eleven of the NAFTA renegotiation talks screeched to a halt today as representatives from all three countries disagreed to agree on a critical issue: health care coverage for Zombies that crossed over international borders in either direction.
There have been a number of stumbling blocks to renewing the North American Free Trade Agreement between Canada, the United States and Mexico. This one however threatens to shunt it off the rails permanently. All three countries agree that top-notch health care for everyone is a shared goal. They just disagree on how to go about it for Zombies who are in their countries without proper documentation.
“They may have a pre-existing condition,” said David Anderson, the Canadian negotiator who arrived in Ottawa from Summerside P.E.I. six months ago for the NAFTA talks. “But in this country we are committed to universal health care. We can’t deny them insurance just because they came here illegally.”
Miguel Perez, the representative from Mexico, agreed that all Zombies deserved to have access to the best medical care, whatever country they were in, but had grave reservations about the costs.
“If a Zombie sneaks down from Montreal and slips across the border to Tijuana, who will pay for it if he winds up needing an emergency liver transplant?” he asked. “We won’t turn them away from the hospital, but we reserve the right to send the bill to Canada!”
The negotiator from the United States, Roy Ernheart, said that Washington’s priorities were “firm” and that its position on Zombie health care coverage hadn’t changed. “It’s an individual responsibility,” he stated emphatically. “We’ve got the Affordable Care Act, but it doesn’t cover everyone and right now it’s up in the air. So even if they tunnel into America, from either the north or the south, they need to buy medical insurance before they cross under the border.”
All three negotiators were quick to downplay any suggestion that their country might have a hidden Zombie anti-immigration agenda. Anderson, the Canadian, spoke on the record on behalf of the group.
“We welcome diversity,” he said. Source: FNT Staff