GENEVA – Bureaucratic fisticuffs nearly broke out today between the United States and Russia over the ownership of a mysterious strain of bacteria that was discovered on the International Space Station (ISS). A Russian cosmonaut claimed that the bacteria, which was found on the outside of the ISS, was potentially alien in origin.
That the bacteria even existed where it did, was a curious anomaly of science. That it existed without political boundaries or restrictions of any kind was a burdock in the underwear of the statists of both countries.
In the current climate of suspiclon, the cosmonaut’s speculation set off a firestorm of mutual accusation. Political opportunists in the American and Russian state departments immediately sprang at each other’s throats, each charging the other with pilfering and perfidy in space.
The United States initially denounced Russia for the unusual “discovery” and accused it of lying about the alien origin so that it could stake a claim to the bacteria in the World Court.
Russia vehemently denied this and has countered with it’s own accusation that the United States was secretly developing the bacteria as a biological weapon to be used in a false flag attack so that Russia would be blamed.
At press time both sides were seconded in a neutral country, but not officially talking to each other. However a source who wanted to remain anonymous said that lawyers behind the scenes were in ongoing discussions about what exactly constitutes community property in space. Source: FNT Staff